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What have I learned from my experience with jealousy? Quick Introduction from Jennifer the Author A few months ago I wrote article about my past struggles with jealousy problems in my relationship.
My motive was to share my story in an effort to spare other people the pain that is associated with jealousy. My last article received an overwhelming response from readers who sought my advice for their individual situations.
More than happy to comply, I have attempted to help many people deal with their individual jealousy problems.
Over time, I noticed there were several common questions that I was being asked. I have compiled the most commonly asked questions about how to deal with jealousy based on my experience.
I invite anyone with further questions to leave a comment and those questions will be addressed in a future article or as an update to this page.
Very simply, from what I have seen, jealousy stems from a type of greed and insecurity. It is almost a territorial instinct. The insecurity stems from fear of being compared, fear of losing your partner, fear of not being good enough for your partner, and more.
Why do I feel jealous of their past in the first place? Jealousy is a complex human feeling that draws upon your emotions. The jealousy that you feel in a relationship is different than the envy of everyday life, such as your friend getting a good mark on an exam or your sibling getting a new car.
It is much harder to deal with and can end relationships. It is influenced by an animal instinct: If you take away all of the emotions, love, feelings and friendship from sex, you are left with just the act of sex. What you need to identify is whether you are jealous of the act of sex itself, or the emotions tied in with it, or both.
Are you jealous of past relationships, casual hookups, or both? It is possible, but not guaranteed. I am a living testament to it being possible.
However, it is not easy. It takes a lot of work on your part to understand your partner and accept their past. Once you are over your jealousy feelings, it takes a lot of time to heal the wounds that were caused by the jealousy in the first place. There are numerous reasons why people become jealous in relationships.
The top factors I have encountered are influences from virginity, religion, upbringing how you were raisedcultural view of sex and societal view of sex. Some religions do not allow sex before marriage, and as a result, a religious individual will have problems with their partner if they are religious and have not waited for marriage.
Your upbringing can highly influence your view on sex. The way you were taught about sex by your parents, siblings, extended family, teachers and friends influences how you view sex as an adult. Based on what I have seen, people who can talk about sex freely with their parents or an equivalent authority figure in their life generally do not have as serious jealousy problems.
Your cultural view of sex is highly influential. Some cultures will openly embrace sexuality, while others do not mention it at all.
Societal view of sex is important too. North America seem to accept casual sex as the norm today. Meaning, there is nothing odd about casual sexual relationships.
Some societies do not embrace this view at all. Once you figure out what is influencing your jealousy, you can figure out how to deal with it.Clarissa "Clara" Harlowe Barton was born on December 25, in North Oxford, Mass. She was the youngest by ten years of five children of Capt. Stephen Barton and his wife, Sarah Stone Barton.
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